One day a beautiful young woman came into my vocal studio.
She played a recording of a singer she wanted to emulate.
“It is so intense.” she said, “I want to sing like that.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I can’t teach you to sing like that. It would ruin your voice.”
She then asked me a question that blew my mind, “Can’t you just teach me the right way to do the wrong thing?”
Not even I could do that. There is no right way to do the wrong thing. That’s one of the rules of life. She didn’t want to change her singing style. She simply wanted to change the rules.
Have you ever tried to re-invent the rules of life because you didn’t want to change? Did you notice that it didn’t work? I have done that. I find it hard to change. Change is difficult. Change is uncomfortable. There is no short cut to real change.
My singing teacher and mentor Ken Nielsen used to tell me that practice doesn’t make perfect; it simply solidifies your history. True change requires courage, curiosity, commitment and a willingness to make mistakes.
After my last birthday I came to the realization that this is the youngest I will ever be. If I want to change and realize my dreams I need to do it now. I’ve made a few commitments to myself for 2014. In addition to selling real estate I will do more of what brings me joy. I will teach more voice students, give more workshops and do my best to share the knowledge about that voice that I have gained over the years studying with Ken Nielsen, an amazing voice teacher. I believe that when you use your voice in a functionally healthy way it will change your life. You can become a better singer, a better speaker and improve other areas of your life simply by having more consistency, dependability and understanding of your voice. If I can help you find your joy by helping you improve your voice give me a call (403-617-5323). Together we can achieve our goals.
Finding time to write can sometimes be more difficult than the writing itself. Being busy prevents my mind from slowing down enough to write. Today I was reminded that life goes past much more quickly than any of us could have possibly imagined when we were younger. With that thought in mind I realized I needed to write before more time whizzed past.
My dear friend and mentor Ken Nielsen, though a frail 84 year old, continues to teach me invaluable lessons. I suppose if you were to ask him if he accomplished all he wanted in his 84 years he would answer “No”. As his singing student I observed that one of his desires was to help singers develop world class voices. Ken would probably be the first to admit that he still has much more to discover about the voice. His passion to research the workings of the voice will probably last until his last breath. Because he still has vocal questions that weren’t answered Ken might feel that his life didn’t have as much meaning as he would have wished. I know his students would disagree. For you see, he did much more than teach us to use our voices in healthy ways; he touched our lives and hearts in ways that made us better human beings. I feel his life was very successful.
How do you judge the success of a life? If you were to judge Ken’s worth from the number of world class singers produced, the number of concert’s performed, or conducted, the amount of money in the bank or the expensive cars driven would that be the best criteria to use? I think not. From Ken’s example, I have learned that at the end of your life the only thing that really matters is how well you treated your fellow human beings. Many others have also learned this simple truth from watching Ken, a masterful teacher. No matter what your role in life you will make the world a better place by bringing out the best in others.
Here is a quote that I love from Mother Theresa. She too made the world a better place because of the way she treated her fellow beings.
People are often unreasonable and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
Have you collected treasures over the years? Is your house full of well loved items that help you remember who you are, where you came from and where you intend to go in the future? If you are like me, my house is full of precious artifacts that help define me. At least that’s my take on it. My husband Paul thinks differently. He states very emphatically and somewhat bluntly that all those pieces of memorabilia are simply clutter and should head to the garbage. My daughter Sara’s family has recently moved to Australia. After watching her empty her house, I hate to admit it but Paul might have a point. (Don’t you just hate it when your spouse is right?) Helping Sara sell everything, give it away or take it to the dump was quite a lesson for me. How much “stuff” do you truly need to be happy. Just how much Tupperware can one woman use? In my case I have 35 different nativity scenes for Christmas. I love the collection but really, 35 nativity scenes is more than any one family needs. Just because you can buy something should you? Just because you have space in your house why hang onto that something special that outlived it’s usefulness years ago? Spring is almost here. What a good time to do get rid of the unnecessary fillers in your house. De-clutter, de-junk and simplify is my new mantra. How about you?
Who are you? Have you ever felt like a square peg in a round hole? You question yourself. You think that there must be something wrong with you. Finally you realize that where you are is simply not a good fit. What do you do about it? Do you continue to beat yourself up for not being someone different or do you make the decision to move on with your life?
I’ve asked myself those very questions in the past two years. I was serving in a volunteer capacity for an organization that I love. I soon found that the copious amounts of reading, countless meetings and the time commitment was causing me more frustration, anxiety and sleepless nights than I anticipated. As I struggled with my feelings of inadequacy I realized that this was not a “hill I wanted to die on”. This type of involvement was simply not my thing. What on earth was I doing filling my days with activities that did not feed my soul? I must admit I was allowing myself to become a crabby, negative, and somewhat hostile individual. I was changing into someone I did not like. That’s when I decided that I needed to remove myself from this role. It was not the fault of the position. It was not the fault of the other people with whom I worked. It was because the role was not a good fit for me. I had lost my joie de vivre (love of life). I had given up time with my family. I had given up teaching singing. I had given up many positive associations with friends. I worried more about my volunteer role than my real estate business. My business suffered. I did not thrive. Looking into the mirror of my soul I realized it was time to leave this position. It was not an easy decision for me but a necessary one if I was going to live a happy and fulfilling life.
What do you do when you realize that you need to make a change? Do you do what I did for months on end and keep trying to make the round peg fit the square hole? Perhaps you do what I did and move on to different activities better suited to yourself. I finally accepted who I was by discovering who I was not. Now I am looking forward to 2013 as a year of personal growth; a year of positive change and gratitude for my own unique gifts. I wish the same for you; may your life be one of harmony and happiness. All the best in 2013
Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some, and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. -Robert Fulghum, author (b. 1937)
You might think I’m crazy about my grandkids after reading this blog. After all, it’s the second one about one of my grandchildren this week. I am definitely crazy about these wonderful people in my life. In fact I’m crazy about all little beings whether related to me or not. It wasn’t always like this. When I was a teenager I found children a little annoying. They were always crying about something. They were messy and required way too much time to look after them. Little people were simply not my thing. Then I got married and gave birth to eight wonderful children, later adding a stepson into the mix. Now I’m a grandmother. My children are adults raising children of their own. Thank goodness for my Grandchildren. They are the best things in my life.
Last night 2 year old Sadie slept over at our house. She didn’t want to go to sleep. I didn’t blame her. We were having so much fun; it was a perfect day, why stop? It was bedtime; she needed to go to sleep. Grandpa and I lay down with her and the sleep routine began. Grandpa stayed quiet. His way to get a grandchild to sleep is so much more effective than mine. He bores them to sleep. I on the other hand tell stories, play games and sing songs to help them go to sleep. (Now you understand why my grandchildren stay up too late when grandma in charge of sleep time.) Last night though I did manage to get Sadie to sleep close to her regular bedtime. I sang her quiet songs. Songs like “Stay Awake” from Mary Poppins and “I am Child of God” from the Children’s primary song book. All three of us dozed off around 8 p.m. I woke up at 3:00 a.m. It was at that moment that my heart was flooded with gratitude for my life. Here I was, in a warm house, sleeping on a comfortable bed scrunched in between two people I love. My country has never seen war on its streets. I have plenty of food, warm clothing and a warm house. What more could I want? The pressure of my work day was gone. The worries for the future did not exist. I simply enjoyed the moment. It was wonderful to simply be alive. Do you have beautiful moments? Jot them down. Read them when life gets overwhelming as it undoubtedly will. Your magical moments, your perfect days, will help you remember the joy of living and give you the courage to look for another perfect day.
Links for words and music to
I am a Child of God.
Probably the most important part of your life is creating good relationships. It’s not the big, expensive, time consuming events of life that make good relationships. It’s just those simple everyday life experiences that make all the difference to the bonds you form with another human being. Sometimes you don’t appreciate the significance of what you do or don’t do until after the fact. This week was a meaningful one for me. Our 16 year old granddaughter was staying with my husband Paul and I while her parents were out of town. In the evenings we spent a little time together. That was unusual for me. Normally I’m running hither and tither with one real estate related activity or another. Not this week. Andrea and I were busy just being together. One night went grocery shopping and tried a new gluten free recipe. ( I’ve included that tasty meal at the bottom of my blog.) One night we put up sold stickers on the signs of two of my listings. Afterwards we serendipitously found a manicure boutique which was open until 7:00 p.m. We had our nails done. We had so much fun on our girls’ impromptu night out. The next night we drove over to Crescent Road, to photograph the best view in the city. Calgary’s night-time skyline on a clear December night is stunning. Andrea loves photography and took a beautiful picture. We went back to my place, watched a favorite sit com, ate popcorn and finally went to bed; nothing special, just a regular magical day to end a regular magical week. I will cherish that week and remember it for a long time, especially now that Andrea is moving far away to her new home in Australia. You never know when your magical time will be with another person. Make time for it to happen. Good relationships make for good memories and a good life.
Recipe taken from “ Paleo Recipe Book” by Sebastien Noel. I have downloaded this recipe book on my ipad. It’s full of interesting and tasty recipes.
Coconut curry stir-fry (serves 4) Easy to make and takes only about 20 minutes.
This stir-fry is really a mix between a traditional curry and a stir-fry. A curry-like sauce prepared with full-fat coconut milk, curry powder and ginger is prepared in advance and added to stir-fried chicken and broccoli. The orange color that the curry powder gives to the final dish is really appealing. Garnish with some coconut flakes to put the coconut accent to the forefront even more.
Ingredients:
• Cooking fat:
• 1 lb tender chicken cut in thin slices
• 2 cups broccoli;
• (diced onion about1/2 cup.) The original recipe missed this in the ingredient list but it showed up in the preparation comments.
• 1 can coconut milk
• 1/1/2 tsp curry powder
• 1 tsp grated ginger
• A good bunch of fresh spinach
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Preparation
1. Prepare the sauce by mixing together the coconut milk, curry powder and grated ginger. Set aside.
2. Stir-fry the chicken in a hot wok. Remove the chicken from the wok, set aside, reheat the wok and stir-fry the onion with more cooking fat for about 2 minutes.
3. Add the broccoli and stir-fry another 3 minutes.
4. Return the chicken to the wok, add the coconut curry sauce and the spinach and cook until the spinach is just wilted and the whole preparation is hot.
5. Optionally garnish with some coconut flakes.
No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same. -Viktor Frankl, author, neurologist and psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor (1905-1997)
This is Andrea’s photo of the Calgary night-time skyline.
Real estate can be a very stressful, time-consuming task for both the buyer and the seller. One of the largest financial investments you will make will be the home you buy. Sometimes a few of you might be paralyzed by fear that you might make a wrong decision. Because of this you may struggle waiting to find the absolutely perfect house, sometimes missing the best one, in the hopes that another one will meet your needs. I had a great experience this week , one that doesn’t happen very often. My clients who had only looked at one house made a quick decision and wrote an offer. The house had been on the market for a while and recently had a substantial price reduction. Fortunately they made a quick decision, got the house and started the process to remove their conditions. Another offer come in shortly after our offer was accepted. By making a quick decision and having the courage to charge ahead, my buyers purchased a good house for a good price. Having the ability to move forward with immediate implementation of action is not easy. In a study of fortune 500 companies and interesting discovery was found. The top 100 companies had a similar success strategy. The speed at which a new idea was implemented. Making decisions quickly to move forward helped them to succeed. It’s not easy to do. I have taken over a year to get this blog up and running. I realize now that I have wasted a lot of valuable time. Two thoughts come to mind. ” Better late than never” and “Done is better than perfect”. I love to write. Now I am committed to sharing my ideas and thoughts. I look forward to reading your comments and sharing your experiences. I’m not suggesting you buy the first house you see but I am suggesting that you become courageous in your decisions to move ahead with your life. It might be deciding on a house. It might be deciding on a career, a choice of companion or even something as simple as what to make for dinner. You simply cannot grasp the new while holding onto the old. Take the challenge. Make a decision today and move forward with your life.
While writing a book called “Singers Are Noisemakers” I came to an important discovery. I was surprised that I hadn’t realized this before, considering I have kept a journal since I was 15 years old. I learned this truth. If you don’t write down what has happened in your life it’s as though it never happened. Living needs to be recorded to be remembered. Each of you has learned from your experiences. Recording those experiences will help you understand your life and chart your direction. It will also help others to work through their struggles and challenges by reading your entries. Keeping a journal has been my gift to myself. I encourage you to write down your experiences. Discover your own unique answers to life and leave a legacy for those who follow.
Insightful Iris 